The glow of connection

Cultivate a rhythm of life that honors time for connection

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

by Sara Fichtner

I smiled as I left the coffee shop, grateful for the unhurried conversation I had with a friend about families, health, work, and faith—the big and small stuff of life. We connected, and the warm glow of our connection stayed with me for the rest of the day.

Last year, I noticed that time felt sparse for cultivating connections like these. The refrain of “I’m so busy!” fell from everyone’s lips, including mine. Relationships were reduced to quick catch-ups and ‘hope this finds you well’ emails.

Not only did I lack connection with others, but time for myself and God also felt scarce. Hurriedness overshadowed rest and sparks replaced any lingering glow.

As someone who thrives on deep connections, I didn’t want to live like that. My weariness led me to plead, “Lord, how can I turn these sparks into something more meaningful?”

The words that surfaced were a balm: ‘Slow down. Be present. Look, linger, and savor.’

I wanted to follow God’s call, but obedience wasn’t easy at first. The New Year and its energy pushed me forward as usual, and spring and summer brought a whirlwind of beginnings and endings. At last, the autumn sun and quiet winter brought a changing tide, washing away the routines and responsibilities I once thrived on.

The opening of time and space felt like lifting my hands to the sky in a refreshing stretch after years of rushing. Taking deep breaths and relaxing my shoulders allowed new rhythms to surface.

Slow down. On a Saturday morning, our 11-year-old foster child and I headed to the park. We spent hours spotting squirrels and chipmunks, trying to ‘capture’ shiny little fish in the river, skipping stones, and digging for shells. We marveled at the majestic trees.

Be present. While running errands, my husband and I visited friends who recently had a baby and were caring for a parent in hospice. We took diapers and chocolate chip cookies. We sat with them as the baby napped nearby. We talked, held space, and listened.

Look, linger, and savor. I started bedtime reading with my youngest again. We laughed at the characters' names and antics. He wondered why the world was like this or that. Why? Why? Why? We sat with the questions snuggled up in his blankets. I didn’t try to figure out the answers.

When I pray now, instead of pleading, I rest in God's arms. My weariness has fallen away, replaced by unhurried joy. In big and small ways, God continues to encourage me on this path and pace, to remain in the warm glow of deep connection, and to lead others along with me.

Sara Fichtner is a Hoosier-Filipina writer, reader, and cultural enthusiast navigating the in-between spaces and encouraging connection. “In the Mix with Sara” is her quarterly Substack with writing and resources on connecting through culture. Sara and her husband have two sons and serve as short-term immigrant foster parents.