Surrendering My Fear of Submission

How submission helps us embrace our value and experience Jesus

Aug 25, 2025

The following piece is the fifth reflection for our August focus on the spiritual practice of Submission. Read more here about our exploration of the spiritual disciplines in 2025 through creative and reflective writing.

By Becky Beresford

I’ve always had a fluctuating and confusing relationship with the word submission. I understand the need for it in our Christian walk. Jesus, God’s beloved Son, submitted to the Father (1 Corinthians 15:27-28), and I want to have my actions imitate His. But submission comes slowly, and often reluctantly, when my own heart is hurting.

Sometimes I believe I know what’s best when a loved one has hurt my feelings. This usually involves putting up barriers and relying on my flawed game plan to reconcile relationships or mend riffs. Instead of submitting to the Savior and His restorative ways, I choose self-dependence and self-defense. Spoiler alert: This has NEVER resulted in anything good.

For many years, I quasi-submitted to Jesus, living a double-minded life where I followed my lead and then relied on God as my backup plan. I was afraid to submit myself fully to God. Fear kept me from loosening my grip because I was afraid God would ask me to surrender things I didn’t want to give up. Eventually, I began to abide within myself as well, relying on my own empowerment and strength to get me through difficult seasons, marriage, special needs parenting, financial difficulty, chronic pain, ministry life, writing dreams/ frustrations, and beyond. I struggled to hang on to the end of my flailing rope, longing to embrace the freedom that the Scriptures say surrender and submission bring.

But when God began helping me recognize the beauty of true biblical submission, I started seeing the blessings that come when we submit our entire selves under God’s gracious care. Submission is discussed often in Christian marital circles, but Jesus wants us to submit all areas of our lives to Him, not just our relationship with our spouse.

Mary of Bethany, the sister of Martha and Lazarus, was single. Although the scriptures never describe her as a married woman, Mary understood the blessing of submitting herself to someone more capable, wiser, and kinder than herself. In Luke 10:38-42, we see Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus, a place culturally reserved for male disciples learning from their Rabbi. In society during Mary’s time, women were not regarded as equal in social status. Girls were not allowed to learn in Jewish synagogues like boys and were often treated as second-class citizens. The fact that Jesus defended Mary for choosing to sit at His feet was radical and spoke volumes to everyone in the room.

When Mary sat at the feet of her Savior in a state of submission, she discovered far more than just Scriptural stories and lessons. She understood how God valued her. Mary discovered her worth as a woman created by God, loved and significant to her Savior. Jesus’s actions were counter-cultural in demonstrating that she was just as important as any other male or female disciple present.

For Mary to sit at Jesus' feet, she had to have had an authentic relationship with Him, which led to this incredible display of trust. We cannot submit to someone we do not trust or know. And we can only know someone when we spend time with them.. Mary chose the “good portion”, which was being with Jesus, not doing things for Jesus (Luke 10:42). This benefit and blessing can never be taken away from believers.

Like Mary, as we behold our Savior, He helps us see ourselves the way God sees us. In this sacred space, God restores our hearts, heals our wounds, and helps us distinguish between truth and lies. We learn how to open our hearts and hands to receive what Christ has for us, including a restored identity in God’s Kingdom.

Christ invites us to sit at His feet and submit ourselves under His gracious care. It’s a nonnegotiable if we want to practice abiding in His presence… if we desire to soak in the glory of our Savior in all His goodness. A submitted heart is a surrendered heart, and that makes it possible to be filled with all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:19). Surrender and submission cannot be separated, but our “white flag” of surrender does not mean defeat or a position of weakness. Submission and surrender require holy, God-given strength, especially when we submit ourselves, as imperfect humans, to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21) This is not an easy path to walk, but it is essential if we want to grow in our relationship with Christ and others.

It took me decades to learn a challenging truth – we all submit to something or someone, whether we are aware of it or not. Perhaps it’s culture, others, ourselves, or God... we all make the choice to allow someone to influence us, teach us, care for us, and lead us.

Because Jesus loves us, He wants to carry what we cannot, if we allow Him to do so. The yoke of our Savior is easy, and He makes our burdens light when we place everything weighing us down in His capable hands. Submitting helps us experience the rest that our souls desperately desire. Let’s welcome our need to surrender to Christ and sit at His feet. He is waiting to show us more of Himself and how we matter to Him. Submission and surrender truly never sounded so good.

HAPPENING THIS WEEK: Our August Webinar!

Holistic Advocacy: How to Confront Abuse in Public with Jenai Auman and Sheila Wise Rowe

Thursday, August 28 10:00am-11:00am PT / 1:00pm-2:00pm ET

Abuse, racism, and myriad injustices demand a response, but publishing and speaking on these topics often comes with a cost. How do we enter these conversations faithfully and safeguard ourselves mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and (sometimes) legally in the process?

This webinar is free for Redbud Writers Guild members (no need to register), $15 for non-members. All proceeds go to support our Women of Color Mentoring Program.

Recordings will be sent to everyone who is registered.

About our presenters:

Jenai Auman is a Filipina American writer, artist, and author of Othered. She draws from her years in church leadership as well as her education to write on contemplative activism and holistic spiritual formation. She received her bachelor's degree in behavioral health science and is currently pursuing a master's in spiritual formation at Northeastern Seminary. Jenai lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband and sons.

Sheila Wise Rowe (MEd, Cambridge College) has over thirty years of experience offering counseling and spiritual direction to individuals, couples, leaders, and trauma survivors. Sheila also spent a decade ministering to unhoused and abused women, children, and youth in Johannesburg, South Africa, where she was a lay pastor and taught Christian counseling and trauma-related courses. Sheila is a speaker, trainer, and writer, authoring the award-winning Healing Racial Trauma and Young, Gifted, and Black. She and her husband, Nicholas Rowe, live in Boston, Massachusetts, and coauthored Healing Leadership Trauma.

P.S. Know someone who would be encouraged by this post or benefit from this upcoming webinar? Forward this to them today!

Don’t forget to visit our guild website here for a full list of our members and their written work, and connect with us on Facebook and Instagram so you never miss an update on what our guild and our members are doing.

A guest post by

Becky Beresford

Becky Beresford is a writer & speaker with a Master’s in Discipleship from Moody Theological Seminary. She’s passionate about helping women embrace Christ-centered empowerment. Her book, She Believed HE Could, So She Did, released in March.